Ranking Black Superheroes in Cinema (Worst to Best)
Just when you thought it was safe to write your eulogy for the blog portion of TDF Everything, here we are! With all the talk of how great Black Panther is, it's time to see how Black Panther ranks among all black super heroes who have been on the big screen!
Let's make one thing clear. I'm not here to talk about every black person who has been in a super hero movie, I mean someone who suits up and goes to fight the bad guys. Also no villains.
Hero/Rank:
#19- Damon Wayans as... Blankman/Darryl Walker
Movies:
Blankman (1994)
How, though:
If I'm being honest I always confuse Blankman for being Handiman from In Living Color. You know, one of those joke premises that could only survive in the era it was created in. No one is up for humour this tone deaf anymore. While Damon doesn't lean as far into jokes about people with disabilities, the essence of those kind of jokes are still on display in this movie. I didn't even watch this movie right when it came out. I saw it a couple of years ago as a mature adult. I guess that's why I just don't have any love for this character.
Hero/Rank:
#18- David Alan Grier as... Other Guy/Kevin Walker
Movies:
Blankman (1994)
How, though:
I like this character more because up until my "research" for this post I completely forgot that "other guy" was an option. That's pretty good that he wasn't offensive enough for me to remember or be angry at.
Hero/Rank:
#17- Halle Berry as... Catwoman/Patience Phillips
Movies:
Catwoman (2004)
How, though:
I'm sorry Halle, I just couldn't get into this movie. Or the character, really. I know what you're thinking! I'm going against my word about villains. But Patience is definitely heroic in this film. Which I guess is why I couldn't get fully on board. I don't see why people weren't ready for a Selina Kyle played by a black woman. Especially post Ertha Kitt. But here we are with a knock-off version of one of my favourite comic book characters ever!
Hero/Rank:
#16- Shaquille O'Neal as... Steel/John Henry Irons
Movies:
Steel (1997)
How, though:
I think this is a character that could benefit from being revisited on one of the DC/CW shows. Unfortunately, Shaq wasn't the guy to get the job done. He's not the most lively actors, and just look at that suit. It's a true bummer of a homemade halloween costume. It says a lot that, even as a kid who looked forward to a Super Mario Bros. sequel, I was not at all up for a sequel to this movie.
Hero/Rank:
#15- Omar Sy as... Bishop
Movies:
X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014)
How, though:
I mean... does he even speak? Probably right? It was cool seeing him on screen but it didn't amount to much at the end of the day. I'm not sure what I was looking for. I barely remember Bishop from the show so I guess it wasn't a big disappointment, just underwhelming. If you want to hear how I feel about this movie in real time, listen to this episode of the LDF Podcast.
Hero/Rank:
#14- Edi Gathegi as... Darwin/Armando Muñoz
Movies:
X-Men: First Class (2011)
How, though:
At least I vividly remember Darwin in his movie. I really enjoyed this movie, but that's not important. I appreciated Darwin in this movie, independent of how much I like the movie. It's too bad he dies early on. At least we got to see him use his powers and not go over to the dark side like Zoe Kravitz's Angel character.
Hero/Rank:
#13- Michael B. Jordan as... The Human Torch/Johnny Storm
Movies:
Fantastic Four (2015)
How, though:
I'm not here to defend this movie. I already did that here! And you can hear me talk about it on this episode of Spoiled Rotten. I was all in for the casting of Michael B. Jordan as Johnny Storm. The important thing is that I was up for a sequel for this movie. I'd even like a reboot with the same cast. Luckily for everyone, Mike has another role that people like to talk about and I had to write about.
Hero/Rank:
#12- Ray Fisher as... Cyborg/Victor Stone
Movies:
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016) & Justice League (2017)
How, though:
Yes Victor Stone is in BvS and he becomes Cyborg. The fact that the scene is nonesensical and doesn't really lead into Justice League matters none! That's like the smallest issue I had with that movie. You can listen to this Spoiled Rotten episode for more details. Justice League, isn't a great film. I like BvS more and you can hear why on this Spoiled Rotten episode. But what I liked was what Ray Fisher did with his character. I felt his internal struggle and his arc made sense to me.
Hero/Rank:
#11- Will Smith as... Hancock
Movies:
Hancock (2008)
How, though:
There is a chance that I'm too big of a Will Smith stan to rank this character any lower. Apparently my sister and I are the only people who loved Focus. I had fun with the movie even though it got a bit weird at the end. The idea of a surly drunk powerhouse sloppily fighting crime is intriguing. The idea that Will Smith was in the role was just icing on the cake for me.
Hero/Rank:
#10- Robert Townsend as... Meteor Man/Jefferson Reed
Movies:
The Meteor Man (1993)
How, though:
This was everything to me as a kid! It had a black superhero and a bunch of musical acts I listened to at the time playing bad guys. Sinbad never hurts either! But a movie that features ABC, Luther Vandross, Cypress Hill, Naughty By Nature, and Big Daddy Kane is great. The fact that I actually liked the hero in the middle of all that was kind of beside the point. But here we are, hanging on to fond memories and refusing to actually see if the movie holds up.
Hero/Rank:
#9- Idris Elba as... Heimdall
Movies:
Thor (2011), Thor: The Dark World (2013), Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015), Thor: Ragnarok (2017)
How, though:
The true test of how much I like Heimdall is the fact that every time I'm surprised that he's in Age of Ultron, I am so happy! You add to that how he takes care of business in Ragnarok? Yep, Idris is the goods in this role. I think he throws hands in all of his appearances in the Thor movies but he feels like he's in full superhero mode in Ragnarok. He's out there keeping hope alive and... well just listen to this Spoiled Rotten episode to hear about why Heimdall is so great in Ragnarok.
Hero/Rank:
#8- Don Cheadle as... War Machine/James Rhodes
Movies:
Iron Man 2 (2010), Iron Man 3 (2013), Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015), Captain America: Civil War (2016)
How, though:
Don Cheadle is dope. I didn't like how they did Rhodey in Iron Man 3... he doesn't even get a suit in the final battle. Making him feel like the Memphis Bleek of the MCU. Having said that, I have Bleek's discography all up in my iTunes so there's not much wrong with that. Being able to watch Don in the role is always great. He anchors the character and brings more dept to it than I think is on the page.
Hero/Rank:
#7- Anthony Mackie as... Falcon/Sam Wilson
Movies:
Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014), Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015), Ant-Man (2015), Captain America: Civil War (2016)
How though:
Truth be told, I'm not a big Anthony Mackie fan, but he is great in this role. His performance might actually be why I like Falcon. He somehow plays sidekick well enough without ever feeling like a second rate character. There's a lot of ways this role could go wrong and I think Anthony makes it work every time.
Hero/Rank:
#6- Halle Berry as... Storm/Ororo Munroe
Movies:
X-Men (2000), X2 (2003), X-Men: Last Stand (2006), X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014)
How, though:
You gotta respect Halle for coming in and doing her own thing with Storm. It could never be confused for what was done on the show with that dope theme song. However, it works in the world of the cinematic universe. I was happy when she was announced as coming back for DoFP. Plus, you can't tell me that she's not the best person who has played storm on the big screen.
Hero/Rank:
#5- Michael Jai White as... Spawn/Al Simmons
Movies:
Spawn (1997)
How, though:
This movie didn't age well, but that does not take away from how cool some of the visuals are with Spawn with his cape and chains. Spawn was the first black hero I remember where the main selling point wasn't hey he's like you, YG, from the gutta! He was a mercanery who happened to be black and I gotta respect that. Unfortunately he goes through in this movie. I really hope the idea of making, potentially, the only black person in the next Spawn movie speechless isn't a thing. I'd still like to connect with Spawn the character instead of just think he's a cool force of nature. Mr. White did that for me.
Hero/Rank:
#4- Letitia Wright as... Shuri
Movies:
Black Panther (2018)
How, though:
In case you thought Halle is the only black woman out there playing black superheroes... nah, B, I'm counting Shuri! Yes I know she becomes Black Panther later, but she still technically suited up and went up against Killmonger at the end. Why not Nakia or Okoye? Because Nakia is like Jane Bond... not really super hero status, and Okoye is a top three character in Black Panther but she felt like a loyal soldier more than someone who would break off and do her own thing for justice. Shuri on the other hand? Shuri is wicked smart and was not easily defeated once she decided it was time to stop cracking jokes and get out of a simulated car to throw down with panther gauntlets!
Hero/Rank:
#3- Tessa Thompson as... Valkyrie
Movies:
Thor: Ragnarok (2017)
How, though:
I was so into Tessa's role in Ragnarok she inspired a post mere hours after seeing the movie. I appreciate that her story isn't tied to Thor's Valkyrie does what she wants when she wants, and she makes Thor look game goofy in their first showdown. I always sigh when I hear about spin offs, but Valkyrie has what it takes to make for a great spin-off subject. I'm here for all things Valkyrie!
Hero/Rank:
#2- Wesley Snipes as... Blade/Eric Brooks
Movies:
Blade (1998), Blade II (2002), Blade: Trinity (2004)
How, though:
All respect due to the first day walker to get a whole trilogy. It didn't end so well for Blade, but Wesley brought it in the first two movies and made everyone respect his gangster. Cool one liners that may or may not apply to the situation notwithstanding, I dug that Wesley was there throwing punches and swinging swords in the movie. A competent hero who looks like me. I'm all in.
How, though:
#1- Chadwick Boseman as... Black Panther/T'Challa
Movies:
Captain America: Civil War (2016) & Black Panther (2018)
How, though:
Black panther wins. For now. Since he hasn't had a bad showing yet. I was scared before Civil War, and ended up loving everything to do with him in that movie. Don't believe me? Check out what I said about Black Panther in Civil War during this LDF Podcast episode. Now listen to my reaction to the actual Black Panther movie on this Spoiled Rotten episode. After all of that, all you really need is my mother's take on T'Challa. He's everything you'd want in a black man. A calm, cool, and collected person who is sensitive and listens while still being able to take care of business when it's time to shoot the fair one! I'm not here for people out there who say "he doesn't want anything." Homeboy is trying to decide which way is best to go forward as the leader of a nation while also dealing with the death of his father, the re appearance of his ex, and finding out about some alarming family ties. Let the man sort some stuff out without going off half cocked.
-YG