Spielberg's Filmography Assessed by a Fair Weather Fan

I respect Steven Spielberg but don't love him.  Which is to say I don't meticulously study his oeuvre.  I just like what I like by him and that should be fine.  Having said that, it seems like I should like him more than I do. Let's go through every movie I've seen by Steven Spielberg and figure out why I don't love him.

I didn't forget 1941 I've just never gotten around to seeing it.  That goes for any other movie you don't see on here.

Film:
Jaws (1975) AKA My 5th Favourite Spielberg Film

Best Part:
Above all else the pacing of this film is what does it for me! The fact that I probably would have seen this movie at least 15 years after its initial release and had already been inundated with parodies and homages is important when I say that I was taken for a ride with this movie.  I was hooked and I think that has a lot to do with the restraint of showing Jaws and even some of the fake outs.  I'm not saying anything that isn't obvious.  I'm just saying Steve stuck the landing with this one in terms of genuinely scaring me with Jaws but also having a great cast of characters I enjoyed being around in between Jaws sightings.

Worst Part:
This is it.  I don't know what's technically wrong with this film.  It's just missing something for me.  Something I can't put my finger on.  On a personal  note, would I have enjoyed a Samuel L. Jackson in Jurrassic Park-esque character in this movie... you bet ya, but other than that it's just missing that X factor for me.  Let's hope that X factor reveals itself as this list goes on.

Film:
Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977)

Best Part:
That musical theme that the spaceship bumps when it arrives is always great.

Worst Part:
When my Magic with Magellan co-star/co-creator told me I had to watch this movie he used the word subtle to describe this movie.  Sue me!  I find this movie too subtle.  For a movie about aliens coming to earth this movie is criminally listless.  If anything, Double S does wide eyed wonder like no body else.  Unfortunately I just found myself bored.

Film:
Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) AKA My 8th Favourite Spielberg Film

Best Part:
Harrison Ford is amazing  I always thought the double whammy of Han Solo and Indiana Jones was dope... even though I leaned more into Han.  Steven isn't into comic book movies but this franchise is close enough to being a Comic Book Movie franchise and I love that.

Worst Part:
Aside from the fact that Indiana Jones isn't necessary to the plot?  I mean, don't the bad guys die when they open up the arc and have their faces melted?  Wouldn't that have happened even if Indy wasn't chasing them around?  At most it's important that he collected it after they were burnt up but again... he kind of just prolonged the eventual demise of the bad guys.  Yeah aside from that, I just find that all of the movies are pretty silly.

Film:
E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982) AKA My 7th Favourite Spielberg Film

Best Part:
When I started watching this movie on VHS multiple times a day it was by far the longest movie to command my attention like that.  This movie was my first example of Steven's wide eyed wonder done well.  I suppose I've chased that feeling in Spielberg's films ever since.

Worst Part:
I just was so put off by E.T. as a kid.

Film:
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)

Best Part:
The heart surgery scene.  Honestly I don't remember much about this movie other than the monkey brains and KALI MAAAA!  But at least I remember those things right?

Worst Part:
This is the thing with Indiana Jones.  Because of the era these movies deal with, we run into all sorts of problematic representations of women and minorities.  That isn't a deal breaker but it certainly help these movies either.

Film:
The Color Purple (1985)

Best Part:
Good on you Steven for taking a swing at a story about the black experience in America.  And you directed Whoopi to an Oscar nomination.  That's nothing to turn my nose up at.

Worst Part:
I finally sat down with this movie a couple years ago after seeing bits and pieces over the years.  Let's just say I've met my limit of watching black people suffer.  I guess I wish I saw it earlier so it could be part of the black people suffering base in my cinematic journey.  As it stands the movie just felt like a punishment for not doing my other black movie homework.  If you're keeping track, there wasn't much room for wide eyed wonder in this predominantly dream crushing film.

Film:
The Empire of the Sun (1987) AKA My 9th Favourite Spielberg Film

Best Part:
If I'm being honest most of my appreciation for this film comes from the fact that Christian Bale could act even back when he was 11-13... I don't know how old he was when he filmed this.  It's also worth pointing out that I'm not a big fan of war movies but Steven's got some dope ones.  I also like stories of Dandys being forced to get street smart with the quickness.  I know he's a kid but it was still satisfying to see that with Jim.

Worst Part:
Like Jaws I don't know what's missing.  I think maybe there could be pacing issues upon revisiting this film but this film definitely feels like a film missing an X factor.  I'm sure if I went back and watched this movie with how woke I am, I bet I'd find something wrong with the depiction of China and the Japanese... but who knows.  We'll never find out.

Film:
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989) AKA My 10th Favourite Spielberg Film

Best Part:
Everything to do with Sean Connery sonning Harrison Ford.  I don't think I've seen this movie in maybe 20 years but I know that will be what I like if I ever get back to this movie.

Worst Part:
It's an Indiana Jones movie.  It's probably sillier than people will admit and would have stuff that would give me pause political correctness wise.

Film:
Hook (1991) AKA My 2nd Favourite Spielberg Film

Best Part:
This might be why I don't love Spielberg and no one would ever accuse me of being a real fan.  The movie that he openly dislikes is one of my favourite.  I wrote abut why HERE.  Even on round 8 of Movies vs. Matrimony I talked about how much I love this movie with Pauline.  It's such a great idea for a movie and I got to see it at the exact right time.  How do I know?  I still care about Peter making the feast with his mind and I still get pissed at Ruffio for not embracing Peter sooner due to his fate with Hook.

Worst Part:
I still don't get how Spielberg doesn't know what he has on his hands.

Film:
Jurassic Park (1993) AKA My 3rd Favourite Spielberg Film

Best Part:
This is wide eye wonder done for adults!  Hook definitely had it for kids, but who didn't want to see what Dinosaurs were like even into adulthood?  Like Jaws, Steven made his "monsters" feel real and that goes a long way in everyone's enjoyment of this film.  I loved the huge cast of characters and I wasn't even annoyed by the kids.

Worst Part:
I feel like there are nitpicks people could find with this movie.  I don't have any qualms with this movie, it's just don't like it as much as the 2 movies I place above it on my favourite Spielberg films list.

Film:
Schindler's List (1993)

Best Part:
It's an important story to tell.

Worst Part:
Like The Color Purple, there is no room for wide eyed wonder in this film.  I'm also not sure why but I find this movie alienating somehow.  I just couldn't get into it.  I think it's safe to say that I prefer Steven Spielberg films when they deal with exploration and adventure.  His more realistic films, for the most part, don't do much for me.

Film:
The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997)

Best Part:
Jeff Goldblum has a black daughter.  AIIGHT DEN!  If memory serves me well, Vince Vaughn was a nice addition as well.

Worst Part:
Definitely an example of Steven Spielberg's pacing not working for me.  By the time the T-Rex is state side I was ready for the movie to be done.  It wasn't the 2nd wind I assume it was intended to be.

Film:
Amistad (1997)

Best Part:
Another admirable attempt to tell a story about black people.  I'll take it!

Worst Part:
This didn't feel like a punishment but definitely felt like homework.  Also I might be wrong (I only watched it on VHS when it came out) but isn't there a scene where one slave tries to convince another slave that Jewish people suffered more?  I'm not here to say if that's true or not, but no good ever comes from trying to compare suffering.  

Film:
Saving Private Ryan (1998) AKA My 6th Favourite Spielberg Film

Best Part:
I think I've clued in to another Spielberg strength.  His ensembles.  This doesn't have to be a star studded affair but, come on, any time you have Vin Diesel pre-Fast & Furious films I think we can all agree we are talking star power to the max!  All jokes aside, the way Tom Hanks and his soldiers interact is amazing and I love moments like bumping into Ted Danson.

Worst Part:
Nothing really other than I can only like War movies so much.  So that's cool that this one is in my top 10 Spielberg films at all.

Film:
A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001)

Best Part:
I felt smart when I recognized the Pinocchio and Wizard of Oz elements of this story.  More importantly I was definitely on board with David's journey.  I wanted him to be able to see his "mommy" again.  I wanted him to feel special.  I was rooting for him all the way!  I also appreciated the Chris Rock cameo among other great cameos like Vincent Chase from Entourage!

Worst Part:
It's another poorly paced film.  By the time David "gets what he wants" I feel like I've already seen 2 endings to the movie.  I'm also not sure who this movie is for.  In Hook's case it's clearly only for kids.  But this movie is straight up too adult for kids but has all the trappings of a kids movie from the outside looking in.

Film:
Minority Report (2002) AKA My 4th Favourite Spielberg Film

Best Part:
This movie is so cool to me!  The idea of pre-crime is so cool so I get my philosophical kicks.  There's definitely action and adventure plus it's the first Colin Ferrell movie I liked him in!  is it because his character has my name?  You be the judge!

Worst Part:
It does feel like you've finished a marathon by the time you hit the final 10 minutes or so.

Film:
Catch Me If You Can (2002) AKA MY FAVOURITE SPIELBERG FILM

Best Part:
No aliens, no dinosaurs, just Leo and Christopher Walken being amazing and taking us on a globe trotting thrill a minute ride!  I may have tried to fight being a Leo fan but I definitely was one before this movie.  Still, this might have been the movie where I started thinking... why doesn't this guy get more respect beyond "heart throb?"

Worst Part:
If there is, I'm not willing to look into it.

Film:
The Terminal (2004)

Best Part:
Even though the subject matter seems beneath a Steven Spielberg I really do like this movie.  It's legitimately fun watching Tom's character make due in the airport throughout the film. 

Worst Part:
It's such a crazy suspension of disbelief that this scenario would ever play out in real life.  Yes even more than Peter Pan being real and having to go back to Neverland to save his kids.  

Film:
War of the Worlds (2005)

Best Part:
I'd like to direct your attention to this clip of sage advice HERE.

Worst Part:
I just feel like it was a missed opportunity.  I didn't think anyone was used properly and I overall just didn't connect with this movie.

Film:
Munich (2005)

Best Part:
Knocked Up made me want to re watch it.  Because it does have a dope cast and maybe I just wasn't in the right head space when I saw it.

Worst Part:
What I remember was a tedious movie.  Like Amistad and Color Purple before it, I felt like I was doing homework instead of watching a movie.

Film:
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)

Best Part:
It's always nice to see Harrison Ford be enthusiastic about the role he's playing.  Like seeing him back in The Force Awakens, it was nice to see Indy again.

Worst Part:
I seriously can't tell if there is a big drop off in quality.  There is a drop off to be sure, but were the films ever that solid?  I like the first and third because of when I saw them.  But even as I look back I find them to be pretty silly.

Film:
The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn (2011)

Best Part:
I loved the visuals and the voice acting to a certain point.

Worst Part:
I have never fallen asleep at a movie theatre.  Near the end of the movie I thought it was ok to take a quick cat nap.  I don't know if I was over or underwhelmed by this movie but the fact that my thought process was "it's just a chase scene, I'm sure I won't miss much" doesn't bode well for this movie.  I've never revisited this movie but I bet I'd like it more the second time around.

Film:
War Horse (2011)

Best Part:
There's a scene where Tom Hiddelston and Benedict Cumberbatch talk to each other and it's riveting.  I also appreciated Toby Kebbell making an appearance and not turning out to be a bad guy.

Worst Part:
I just don't think it's a story worth telling at the end of the day.  It's litterally a bunch of people who just "MUST HAVE THAT HORSE" as soon as they see it.  The horse can't even jump.  Not even if it means it'll save his life.  Seriously the end of the movie is war horse about to die because he refused to jump over barbed wire.

Film:
Lincoln (2012)

Best Part:
Daniel Day-Lewis quit acting (June 20, 2017) so it's even more important to enjoy a good DDL performance when you can cause we may never get one again.  It's definitely a strong performance that helps keep the movie from getting bland but the real secret weapon is Tommy Lee Jones' Thaddeus Stevens!  What an interesting character!

Worst Part:
For as good as it is while you're watching it, I often forget it ever existed.  No disrespect.

Film:
Bridge of Spies (2015)

Best Part:
It certainly looked good.

Worst Part:
If someone told you that Steven Spielberg was directing a Coen Brother's script wouldn't you imagine a much better film than what we actually got?  No?  Just me?  Fine.

Film:
The BFG (2016)

Best Part:
There is a scene where the Queen of England and her staff all fart because of a giant drink.  It is a rare moment of liveliness in the movie and it actually stuck with me.

Worst Part:
Another case of unfulfilled potential. I thought they could have done more fun stuff with the Giants and I didn't really connect with the kid at the center of all this.  To be fair to the movie, this may be someone's Hook if they're the right age.  But the fart scene ain't BANGARANG, bruh! 

-YG